let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize