i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
