There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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