Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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