Say something about gay babies.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
