so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
