I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
