You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
