When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
