just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I intend to get homeless drunk
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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