so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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