Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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