Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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