I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize