just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
