By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize