whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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