You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
