Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
