she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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