Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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