Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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