I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
