Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
