My first STD was from a foam party
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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