Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
