And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
