hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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