She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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