I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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