i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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