dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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