You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
