The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
