Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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