there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
