where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
