guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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