Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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