so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
