i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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