her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
PANTIES FOUND
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