if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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