Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
