Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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