4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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