Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Mom said you looked used
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
