You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
