I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
