it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
