Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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