I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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