So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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