I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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