i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
