problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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