We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
