So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
