I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
